Dragon-Earth
by The Golden Dragon
Summary: What do YOU think would happen if the characters from DragonLance and Middle-Earth met? Well, you're about to find out... Co-written with my dear sister, Dalamar the Dark
1. In which Dalamar meets Legolas and Raist...

DISCLAIMER: If you recognize any of these people, then they're probably Tolkien's, or any DragonLance writer's. Dolenlithiel and Taruriel belong to us. So here is our story! NOTE: THIS IS A FANFIC!!!!!! It's very out of character, and it's not like the books! So if you don't like it, you can just…not like it! Hmph!  
  
***CHAPTER ONE***  
  
Dolenlithiel and Taruriel were very bored.  
  
And you know what that means.  
  
They decided that the DragonLance and the Middle-Earth characters should have a little get-together…  
  
Welcome to Dragon-Earth.  
  
Two elves were sitting in a plain wooden room, with a third elf standing threateningly over them.  
  
Legolas looked pleadingly up at the elf standing above him.  
  
"No way," the elf said. "Not me, not EVER!"  
  
Legolas took on a wheedling tone. "Please, Lithy?"  
  
The elf sitting beside Legolas gave him an icy stare, causing him to shut up (lest the blood dry in his veins).  
  
"Do not call me Lithy. Ever. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not Fala and I don't really want to marry you." Dolenlithiel smiled evilly.  
  
Dalamar, as usual, hid his amusement. After all, that would spoil the splendid feeling of fear he had imprinted upon Legolas. His hands – which were tucked in his wide sleeves to hide the killing spell – twitched threateningly.  
  
"Now, you two are going to teach each other a bit," Dolenlithiel said all too sweetly. "Leggy, you teach Dally a little about Middle-Earth, and Dally will teach Leggy some about Krynn." The evil grin on her face did little to appease Legolas's fear. As usual, Dalamar wasn't afraid.  
  
Dolenlithiel left.  
  
After about ten minutes, Dalamar's unblinking, cold stare threatened to make Legolas turn around and stick out his tongue. However, upon entering the room he had heard Dolenlithiel speaking to Dalamar – "If you have to kill him, use the three Elven runes. The Dwarven ones would be more out of place." – and didn't really want to give the other elf any excuse.  
  
"So," Legolas said uncomfortably. "Do you want to teach me a bit about this Crane place? I mean, learning about other elves is always great. And I really know quite a lot about elves in our world, I mean…" Legolas trailed off, quailing under the distinctly hostile stare.  
  
"In Krynn," he said coolly, "If you know a lot about elves, you know that dark elves have absolutely no interest in other elves as a race, unless they are followers of Nuitari."  
  
Legolas gulped. "Nuitari? Say, what's a dark elf? Is it someone who is, like, evil? Or someone who was imprisoned by the king and queen because they killed women and children?"  
  
"A dark elf is one who was exiled, in a sense becoming nonexistent, from their race of elves for practicing magic not accepted by the elves, followers of E'li, whether it be red or black magic." Dalamar's voice, as usual, was flat and totally devoid of emotion.  
  
Legolas was growing increasingly uncomfortable. "How do you know so much about it? I mean, what with the exile and all, I wouldn't think that dark elves would be so popular, you know?" He gave what he hoped was a friendly smile.  
  
Dalamar smiled coolly, a smile that seemed to communicate 'I am just smiling to hide the fact that, as soon as I can, I want to drink your blood.' "Well," he said in his normal – that is, deathly – tone, "being one of the dark elves, I am quite well versed in this particular area of knowledge."  
  
A sound escaped Legolas before he could stop it.  
  
"Oops!"'  
  
~The previous section was written almost exclusively by Dolenlithiel. The next section will be more or less Taruriel, although the idea for this particular "get-together" was collaborative. Also, to understand some of the references in this story, you have to have read our other story, To Rhyme or Not To Rhyme. Anyway, if for some unknown reason you have actually enjoyed reading this, please review! We love to hear from you!~  
  
***  
  
In another, more or less identical room, sat three people. One was an elf. The other two were humans.  
  
One wore a hooded black robe. The other wore long, white robes that somehow seemed to encompass all colors.  
  
The elf smiled pleasantly at them. "Raistlin, Saruman, I'd like you to get acquainted. I'm going to go meet with Lith now." She leaned down to the black-robed human. "Raistlin, I want Saruman more or less in one piece when this is finished." she whispered. Then she vanished.  
  
Saruman looked across the table at the other. Golden eyes watched him from under the hood, and the pupils seemed to be oddly formed – they were shaped like hourglasses. Saruman blinked, but the eyes remained the same, watching him coldly.  
  
"So you are Saruman." stated the black-robed human, in an oddly quiet, rasping voice. "I am Raistlin."  
  
Saruman nodded. This Raistlin put him strangely off-balance. He'd never met another human so…odd. "I take it you are a wizard?"  
  
"I am."  
  
Somehow, Raistlin's tone discouraged further questions. This made Saruman nervous. He put on his most persuasive manner, willing his face to remain pleasant. "Why is it that you wear a hood?"  
  
"It makes things…easier." said Raistlin.  
  
Saruman got the impression that the other wizard was laughing at him, under that black hood. He was determined not to give up. "How so?"  
  
"My appearance often startles others."  
  
"I don't believe I will be startled."  
  
"As you wish." said Raistlin mockingly. He reached up to remove the hood, and Saruman was shocked to note that the color of his hands was not tan, or even black, but metallic gold.  
  
The hood slid off Raistlin's head, and Saruman nearly choked. The wizard's face was the same golden color as his hands, and his hair was pure white.  
  
A cynical smile twisted Raistlin's lips, as Saruman continued to gape. "So was the price for my magic. Never have I regretted it, never will I." He wrapped one hand around the staff at his side and, in one swift movement, stood up. "It seems you have paid no price. Therefore, it is necessary that I must make you pay."  
  
Saruman paled. "What!-"  
  
Raistin stared directly into Saruman's eyes. "Rise, and we will duel." Reluctantly, Saruman stood. "But…" Saruman's voice was choked off as a firebolt flared from the other wizard's hands. Surely it was impossible for such a frail person to wield such power! He ducked the firebolt, hastily placing shields around his body. Raistlin only smiled, and another flare of fire left his hands.  
  
***  
  
Taruriel flinched as yet another something exploded inside the room she had previously left. Dolenlithiel came down the hall, trying to ignore the explosions. "You know, I hadn't even suspected Legolas could be so…stupid." she said.  
  
"Why, what'd he do?" asked Taru.  
  
"He kind of…" Lith collapsed into a chair, laughing so hard she could barely breathe.  
  
"He kind of what?" said Taru impatiently. Lith sat up, trying to regain control of herself.  
  
"He asked Dalamar how he knew so much about dark elves."  
  
Taru choked. "He what!?"  
  
"He said, and I quote, 'How do you know so much about it? I mean, what with the exile and all, I wouldn't think that dark elves would be so popular, you know?' "  
  
"Oh dear. What did Dalamar do?" said Taru, trying to restrain her laughter.  
  
"He went very, very, very, polite."  
  
"Poor Legolas!"  
  
"Yeah. Anyway, how are Saruman and Raistlin doing?" asked Lith.  
  
"Listen for yourself." said Taru, gesturing grandly at the wall. At that moment, a huge explosion rocked the floor. Lith fell off her chair.  
  
"What are they doing in there?!" she cried. Taru's eyes went wide.  
  
"If we want Saruman alive at the end of this, I think it might be time to end this!"  
  
Lith nodded and struggled upright. "You get the door, this one isn't keyed to me."  
  
Taru reached out and touched the wall. A crack ran down the wall from where she touched it, then up and around, forming a vaguely rectangular shape. Lith pushed it, and it swung open. Taru dove into the room, coughing on clouds of smoke. She ran towards Raistlin, who was in the midst of casting another spell. "Stop it, both of you!" Raistlin dropped his hands and turned to Taru.  
  
"What?" he said in annoyance.  
  
"We need Saruman alive, Raistlin! I think you've demonstrated you're very much his superior long enough." Raistlin sighed and, leaning on his staff, began to walk towards the door. Lith had managed to dispel the paralysis Raistlin had placed on Saruman. The bedraggled, singed wizard looked absolutely shocked. "Wha…?" Taru shook her head sympathetically, and looked pleadingly towards Lith.  
  
"You put him and Raistlin together, you have to deal with it!" said Lith firmly.  
  
"Please, Lith? I have to go find Raistlin a place to stay!" begged Taru.  
  
"Oh, fine. But then you have to help me with Legolas and Dalamar."  
  
"I will. Thanks!"  
  
Lith took Saruman's arm – his staff was shattered – and began to lead him out of the room. Taru turned and ran after Raistlin. 


	2. In which Tanis meets Haldir

DISCLAIMER: We did go through all this already, didn't we?  
  
A/N: Yay! Chapter Two! If we get enough reviews, I'll go on to Three! Ah yes and read the story by Dalamar the Dark, called To Rhyme or Not To Rhyme because it's co-written by me! Anyway, I'll get on with the story now…  
  
***CHAPTER TWO***  
  
Dolenlithiel and two others were once more standing in a room.  
  
"You're going to learn about each other," she said sweetly. Haldir and Tanis both looked ready to kill. "Go on now – and no hitting." She left.  
  
Haldir turned cold eyes on Tanis. "Who are you?" He asked finally, in a distinctly annoyed tone. Tanis, of course, ignored his tone and replied pleasantly, "Tanis Half-Elven. You?"  
  
Haldir, of course, didn't reply, but stared. His voice held definite scorn. "You're a half-elf?!?"  
  
***  
  
Taru and Lith were sitting comfortably in two large chairs outside Tanis and Haldir's room. Suddenly they heard a bong sound. Tanis's muffled voice came through the door.  
  
"Do you want his head?"  
  
***  
  
Lith grabbed Taru's arm. "Stop that! We agreed that this would be good for them!"  
  
"NOT WHEN YOUR STUPID TANIS NEARLY KILLS MY HALDIR!!!!" she shrieked.  
  
"He wouldn't really have killed him, and anyway, he just knocked him out." said Lith hopefully. Taru just glared.  
  
"All right, we'll continue – on one condition."  
  
"What?" asked Lith warily.  
  
"Haldir stays with me – me – and I get to kill Tanis."  
  
Lith choked. "What?!"  
  
"I told you. I get Haldir, and I get to kill Tanis." said Taru calmly. However her eyes were still glowing and this made Lith slightly worried.  
  
"We absolutely cannot kill anyone – DragonLance or Middle-Earth."  
  
"Oh fine," said Taru, "I get Haldir."  
  
Lith was slightly doubtful about the wisdom of this, but if it would keep Taru happy – and out of trouble – she supposed it was worth it. "All right. You get Haldir."  
  
"Yay!" Taru dashed off in search of Haldir.  
  
Lith blinked and wandered off in the other direction.  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
Tanis was pulling out Haldir's hair when Taru arrived.  
  
"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING TO MY HALDIR?" she screamed.  
  
With a cheery smile, Tanis replied, "Just – improving him a bit, is all."  
  
"GIVE HIM BACK! NOW!" Tanis, with a sigh, began to give Haldir to Taru and then stopped. "On one condition."  
  
Taru glared. "What?"  
  
Tanis grinned. "I give him a buzz cut which you don't alter until it fully grows back normally."  
  
"NO! NEVER! NOT MY HALDIR! YOU HORRIBLE EVIL LITTLE MONSTER!"  
  
"All right," Tanis said regretfully, drawing his knife. "Awfully sorry about this, old boy."  
  
Taru gaped. "All right, all right!" Tanis smiled sweetly. "Why, thanks," he said, and began to hack off Haldir's hair. 


	3. In which the Graygem meets the One Ring ...

DISCLAIMER: This is getting annoying.  
  
A/N: To Lady Eowyn of Rohan: Er…I'm not obsessed with Haldir! I'm going to marry him! ^_^ AND YOU'D BETTER BE KIDDING ABOUT GIVING HIM A NOSE JOB!!!! Hmph… And the reason Tanis is so defensive about being half-elven is because half-elves are generally despised by all the elven races of Krynn, and he grew up in Qualinesti having to deal with all the elves hating him…so that's why. To Lady Iniquity: Tanis, if I remember correctly, has shoulder-length reddish-brown hair. I'm not sure if I do remember correctly though…I'll have to ask Lith. And any reviews are enough! I love reviews! Thank you for reviewing! Thank you all for reviewing! I'll just get on with the story now, shall I…  
  
***CHAPTER THREE***  
  
***  
  
Two…objects…sat in one of those boring wooden rooms, with Lith standing over them.  
  
"Now," she smiled, "You're going to get acquainted with each other. No power exercised, get it?"  
  
A sullen feeling of agreement radiated from each…object.  
  
The Ring began burning as the Mordorish writing appeared on it, hoping to impress the other.  
  
The Graygem's many facets began to glint and gleam.  
  
"So," the Ring began, "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm the Graygem, that's who," the Graygem replied. "And you would be…?"  
  
"The One Ring," it proudly replied. "And you're ugly."  
  
The Graygem seemed to glare. "Hey, it helps disguises. Lots of people would want a gold ring naturally, but few want a oddly faceted gray gem. It's a great disguise. I was able to fly all over the world, wreaking havoc…ah, those were the good days."  
  
"Tell me about it," the Ring replied wistfully. "When I was with Sauron, I could do all this great stuff – transmogrifying, killing, torture, destruction, covering the world in darkness sort of stuff – but now that we're separated, I must resort to (sniffs) corruption. Corruption, of all things! Even the displaced Morgoth could do corruption. No, no more killing and torturing – just corrupting. Ah, what I wouldn't give to have your kind of freedom – just being able to go run around, spreading chaos all over the land."  
  
The Graygem sighed gloomily. "Man, it's not as easy as it looks," it said miserably. "I really imprison Chaos, and you know, I sometimes think he just wants to explode me to get out. I mean, I'm him and all, but still…"  
  
Ten minutes later, they had decided to form a Union of Evil and take over both Krynn and Middle-Earth.  
  
***  
  
"How's it going?" Taru asked Lith wearily, sinking down in her chair. Lith handed her an enormous chocolate milkshake, which she dug into gratefully.  
  
"Ah, not bad," Lith replied, sipping her own milkshake. "Mmm, the Juice Bar really does make the best milkshakes." Then an idea struck. "D'ya think Fala would want a cameo?"  
  
Taru grinned. "I don't think she'd mind. Why not?"  
  
Fala appears and waves. "Hi guys!"  
  
Lith grins. "Hi! Sit down! Want a milkshake?"  
  
"Sure!" Fala starts to drink. "Oh, these are good. So what have you been doing lately?"  
  
Taru smiles. "I put Raistlin and Saruman together. For a while I thought Saruman would come out mangled…if he came out at all."  
  
"That's horrible!" Fala exclaimed.  
  
Lith was giggling. "I put the Graygem in with the One Ring. They totally hit it off. They've formed a union to take over both worlds."  
  
"And she tortured my Haldir!" Taru said indignantly.  
  
Fala leaned forward. "Ooh, what happened?"  
  
Lith grinned evilly. "I put Tanis and Haldir in the same room. Tanis got a little…annoyed…so he gave Haldir a buzz. Taru had to give him a wig!"  
  
Fala began to laugh.  
  
***  
  
Lith was, once more, standing over two people. One, however, was uncommonly short for a human.  
  
"Delbin, Aragorn," she said sweetly, "You are going to become friends. Or else. Now, I'll be leaving you. No hitting." After her highly illuminative speech, Lith swept out of the room.  
  
"Hi, I'm Delbin Knotwillow. Who are you? I suppose the tall lady called you Aragorn, so that must be your name. How do you do? Say, I remember Uncle Trapspringer used to say that all the time to people. Would you like to hear some stories about him? He was my fourth uncle on my father's side. Or was it my mother's? I forget. Hey, this is a very pretty ring. Where'd you get it? Did it cost much? I'd like one, although of course I'd need a smaller size. Do you think that they have a small size special? They might, you know. Oh, what a nice sword!! It's so pretty. Can I try it? I had a sword once, but Kaz took it away because he said I'd do more damage to myself than anyone else. So now I have my hoopak, which is really quite nice. Say, do you know Kaz? I don't suppose you do, him being a minotaur and all, but he's really quite nice. I saved his life once, you know. Would you like to know how it happened? Well, see, we were going to – oh, what's the matter? Do you feel sick? I felt horrible once, after I ate some spiced potatoes in an inn at Haven. I heard about these great ones in Solace, but they weren't good at all. Hey-"  
  
Aragorn grit his teeth and bore the little monster's prattle with considerable patience. However, that patience was wearing thin.  
  
"-And he took his axe, and BOOM, that goblin's head went flying! I hate goblins. They're so ugly and they smell bad. Oh, did I ever tell you about the time I got lost from Kaz? We were going to-"  
  
"SHUT UP YOU BLASTED MONSTER!!!!!!" Aragorn screamed. He touched his ring for assurance, except the ring…wasn't there.  
  
"DID YOU STEAL MY RING?!?!?!"  
  
"No, just borrowed it for a bit," Delbin answered, offended. "And I'm not a monster, just a kender. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time when- "  
  
***  
  
Taru grinned at Lith as she sat down and handed her a chocolate raspberry frappuchino. Lith drank gratefully.  
  
The two were sitting their peacefully when, from a room near there, a rhythmic bonging began.  
  
"What's that?" Taru asked in alarm.  
  
"Probably just Aragorn," Lith replied with a grin. "I shut him in with Delbin." 


	4. Special Edition!

DISCLAIMER: You know what, I said this all at the beginning of the story. If you're reading this chapter, it stands to reason that you've read the first one. So no more disclaimers. Look at the first chapter if you want to. Hmph.  
  
A/N: Grmph…no reviews for 3. Oh well, here's the Special Edition! Please note that this was written almost exclusively by Alexa, my co-writer and sister. Her account name is Dalamar the Dark, so go read her stories.  
  
Thank you very much everyone who has reviewed.  
  
And now, without further ado, here is the one, the only, Special Edition! Okay, maybe not the One and Only…there might be more later. But for now it is! Enjoy!  
  
S*P*E*C*I*A*L E*D*I*T*I*O*N #1  
  
A long row of pristine white beds (six beds, actually) stretched down a room. The entire room was black and white. The walls were white with black trimming; the outfits of the people moving around the room were also white and black. It was incredibly boring and had an air of cleanliness.  
  
"Back again, Lith?" Someone asked softly. Lith grinned at Sanuvion, the head doctor here. He was carrying a box of bottles. He noticed Lith looking at them.  
  
"Powdered peppermint," he said in a near whisper, "Mixed with dried chamomile and a bit of rosemary extract." He pushed the box onto a counter and began to unload.  
  
Lith grinned. "Of course," she answered, neatly stacking the jars onto a shelf. "I wanted to check in on Aragorn, Legolas and Saruman. We aren't finished with them yet – although Raistlin did bang up Saruman a lot. What extensive damage was there?"  
  
"Burn scars," Sanuvion replied. "Broken bones. Mental paranoia." Lith sighed. "Were you able to jerk him out of it?" "Of course," he answered calmly. "I have two on duty just now, watching him. I healed most of it, though." Lith nodded approval.  
  
A short, muscular figure walked up and wordlessly handed a folded paper to Sanuvion. The person walked away. Following Lith's gaze, Sanuvion said, "Dwarven volunteer. Very good, really." Sanuvion unfolded the paper. "Oh dear," he said with a frown, "Legolas is getting worse. Fala's hovering over his bed like a…a…"  
  
"Yes, I know. Let's go see what's happening." Sanuvion nodded agreement and the two walked over to where Legolas was. But the problem was, there was no Legolas.  
  
Sanuvion flexed his fingers threateningly. "I am going to kill that idiot," he muttered furiously. Lith shook her head. "No, he's not an idiot," she disagreed. "He's very smart, in fact." Sanuvion glared. "Smart? You call making him invisible and giving him the temporary power to levitate smart? We can't find him!!! He could be floating in the clouds now for all we know!"  
  
"No, he's not," Lith commented. "Dalamar wouldn't do that – you know that. He is keeping him strictly in reach. We just need to find him."  
  
At that moment, the air above Legolas's bed shimmered and Legolas dropped from the air onto the bed, now perfectly visible. Sanuvion gaped.  
  
"I told you it was temporary, didn't I?" Lith said calmly, turning to leave.  
  
~A/N: If anyone suggests, or even THINKS, that I like Sanuvion in *THAT* way, I will…well I don't, OK? The only person I like is…well…Taru knows. –Lith~  
  
~A/N: Yay! This is Taru! Now, I'm going to tell the WORLD that LITH LIKES-AWK!!!~  
  
~A/N: Taru is now somewhat…indisposed. She should regain consciousness in time to introduce our next two! That should show everyone that you DON'T threaten to embarrass me! Ha!~ 


	5. In which Tas meets Elrond

DISCLAIMER: Look, if you're reading fanfics, you already know all this. WHY BOTHER YOU STUPID BAKA KADESSAS?!?!?!  
  
Ok, I'm alright now. I'm fine. Take deep breaths. In…out…in…out…  
  
{Quote mode} (Agent Lith speaking. Just kidding.) Breathe, Neo! Just BREATHE!  
  
EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! NEO!!!!!!!!! ^_^  
  
~A/N: Yay! Author's notes! I love author's notes!~  
  
~A/N: You put enough in the story's middle, now get on with it.~  
  
~A/N: Hmph. That's what I'm doing. Don't bug me. AHHH THE BUGGY THING!!!! THAT THING WAS REAL?!?!?!!~  
  
~A/N: It's 'That thing's real!', not what you said. Dragonbug! Now…shut up and get on with it. Shp!~  
  
~A/N: Ok ok ok! *ducks punch* STOP TRYING TO HIT ME AND HIT ME!!!~  
  
~A/N: (Taru: "oof!") See, I hit you. Now, on with it.~  
  
To Lady Éowyn of Rohan (a.k.a. my older sister…*shrugs*): Fala's my best friend. So, by default, she gets Legolas. ^_^  
  
To Lil Loki Puck: *sighs* We can't use Aragorn 'til we've done everyone else we can think of. However Boromir and Sturm is definitely something to think about… ^_^ "Dead Guys Inc.!"  
  
We're sorry this chapter took so long to publish. We've had writer's block! And when the writer's block hits, it hits like a tidal wave! *nods furiously* ^_^ Anyway, here's the story you've been waiting so eagerly for! Well…probably not…but oh well!  
  
***CHAPTER FOUR***  
  
Taru walked serenely into the room. However, her eyes were nearly glowing with mischief, and Elrond did not see that as a good sign. He stood up, watching her with wary eyes. She smiled innocently at him. "Elrond, there's someone I'd like you to meet." she said, and gestured towards the door.  
  
Someone stepped through it. A very short someone. A very short, skinny, someone. The someone stuck out its hand and began talking, very very fast. It said, "Hi I'm Tasslehoff Burrfoot. Who are you? Are you related to me? How come you're so tall? Are you a giant kender or something like Tanis?"  
  
Elrond blinked. It sounded like the little creature had just said his name was Tasslehoff Burrfoot. But that wasn't a name at all! "What did you just say?" he asked.  
  
Tas smiled happily. "I said that I'm Tasslehoff Burrfoot, and you can call me Tas by the way because all my friends do, and who are you, and are you related to me, because a lot of people are you know, a lot of people are related to my Uncle Trapspringer as well, he seems to be a lot of people's uncle, do you have an Uncle Trapspringer? And if you have pointy ears, how come you're not a kender? Are you a giant kender like Tanis? Oh wait Tanis isn't a giant kender, he said so, he said he's a half-elf."  
  
Elrond's eyebrows began to twitch.  
  
"Oh, did I ever tell you about Tanis? He's a half-elf. You have pointy ears! Can I pull them? No? Is something wrong? Your eyes are glowing red. Ooooh, you have a pretty gold crown! Say, it fits me a lot better than it fits you. Did you get the wrong size? Oh, and you got braids! Tika had braids too. Did she braid your hair for you? Ooh, now your eyes are glowing orange and red! Like fire! How did you do that? Can you show me-"  
  
Elrond began to mutter frantically in Sindarin.  
  
"-Oh, you can't? Is it just you? Maybe your pointy ears give you special eyes! That would be great. Except I have pointy ears too, see? And the grlllumhq wumph werh qusdf"…  
  
There were very large hands over Tasslehoff's mouth. Tasselhoff, of course, was delighted at the "monstery thing" that was holding him captive.  
  
"Mmph! Cool! Oh, your hands are all green! Wow! And-mmmmmph!!!"  
  
The kender dropped to the ground, unconscious.  
  
**Three hours later**  
  
Tas began to stir. Elrond frantically ran to the door and beat on it with his fists.  
  
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!"  
  
***  
  
"Oh, God," Taru muttered, sinking into her chair. Lith punched a few buttons on her computer that I just invented because I felt like it and handed Taru a Death By Chocolate that had just appeared. Taru's eyes began to glow. "Mmm…where did you get that little bugger, anyway?"  
  
"I made one like David's, see? You can even watch movies. It has twenty or so programmed on it now, and I'm downloading more. See? That's the Matrix.  
  
"OOOOOOOOH! Let's watch!"  
  
"Maybe later, Taru. Oh, I have an *idea*!!!!"  
  
"Oh no. What?" Taru smiled reverently at the Death By Chocolate sitting in front of her (on the table I just invented) and began to eat.  
  
"For our next Special Edition, instead of using DragonLance characters, let's use Matrix ones!"  
  
"Cool! Could we do-"  
  
"No, they're too similar already. How about-"  
  
"But they have something in common! That's bad! What if we-"  
  
"Great one! She kicks @$$. We definitely can't do-"  
  
"Why not? It'd be funny, if nothing else. But-"  
  
~A/N: Sadly, it is true we actually do this sometimes. Hey, when you spend all day, every day in the same house, and you're only separated by 18 months, you know each other pretty well. Right? –Taru~  
  
~A/N: Right. But WHO is scared of the people at Starbucks?~  
  
~A/N: They're SCARY!!~  
  
~A/N: Was the guy who gave you a cupful of WHIPPED CREAM scary?~  
  
~A/N: Well, no…~  
  
~A/N: See? Now, back to the story and your three scoops of ice cream, three of whipped cream, and three pieces of cake Death By Chocolate.~  
  
~A/N: There's no such thing as scoops of wipped cream. Oops I mean whipped wream. AGGGH!!!~  
  
~A/N: You need to learn to type. And how do you know about the WHIPPED CREAM? You've never tried, have you? Huh? HUH?~  
  
~A/N: I can SO type! It's HARD to type leaning OVER YOU!!!! NYANYANYA!!! ANYWAY! Back to the story!~  
  
"Anyway, back to my Death By Chocolate," Lith said. "Hey do you think she'd like a-"  
  
"Sure!" replied Taru. "Just make sure he-"  
  
"Don't worry, Legolas won't be anywhere near. Neither will-"  
  
"Good, no Heath Ledger or Neo ::swoon:: to worry about. And no-"  
  
"Like I'd let Brad Pitt onto this show. Now can we please stop talking in half sentences like-"  
  
"I know, Lith, like Beltira and Belkira. Or like-"  
  
"Yes, like Aphrael and Sarabian. Now hush."  
  
There is dead silence. Except for the sound of two hungry girls eating Death By Chocolate.  
  
"So should we?" Taru asked suddenly.  
  
"Give her a cameo? Sure."  
  
Lady Éowyn of Rohan appears.  
  
Her first words:  
  
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY LEGOLAS?!?"  
  
"We gave her to Fala," Taru said calmly.  
  
"YOU WHAT?"  
  
"Oh, hush up," Lith said absently, "And, yes, I did type "her" on purpose." (Éowyn glared.) "As I said, hush. Or I won't let you have Neo. Oh – wait – you wouldn't get him anyway."  
  
"Why? I want him!" Taru glared.  
  
"He's mine. I don't have a guy I like like, remember?" Lith grinned.  
  
"I thought it was Dalamar," Éowyn said. "And Taru's was Raistlin."  
  
"EEEEEEEP!" Taru and Lith said together and burst into laughter.  
  
"Isn't he, like, the evil dude?" asked Éowyn.  
  
"I guess so. And I don't like Dalamar, as in like like. The last person he liked, I think, died."  
  
"How?" asked Éowyn. (Taru was too busy eating.) "ARE YOU EATING DEATH BY CHOCOLATES? WITHOUT ME?!?"  
  
"Here, have one. I don't know if Jenna has died yet, but Regene did. She got beaten up by a blue dragon and then Dalamar killed her."  
  
"You never told me that!"  
  
"You didn't ask, Éowyn," Taru chipped in. "Tramd O' the Dark cast an illusion spell, didn't he? So Dalamar didn't see her until it was too late."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Was he sorry, I wonder?" Éowyn asked.  
  
"Dalamar's been sorry for a lot of things," Taru replied. "But it was Regene's choice to walk into danger, and therefore, her fault that she died."  
  
"Anyway, I don't like like him," Lith said. "He's just…cool. The Alexa Lith doesn't like him. The Dolenlithiel Lith does. Only the Alexa Lith, isn't."  
  
"Yeah, like that helps," Éowyn muttered, eating her Death By Chocolate.  
  
Taru blinked. "Like that makes sense…"  
  
"Anyway…(makes official face, ends up snorting the ginger ale she was drinking out her nose, and gives up) Lady Éowyn Greenleaf (yeah right) of Rohan, would you like to introduce our next people?"  
  
"Um, no thanks. I have to go soon – Chem SAT II that I have to study for tomorrow."  
  
"Okay…just give me the dishes. (Éowyn vanishes.) This computer also washes dishes with no water or soap or anything, and then stores them in an invisible pocket drifting around in the atmosphere. Oh – sh!t – a comet just crashed into it. So much for that."  
  
"Put it on Pluto," Taru suggested brightly. "Of course, with a heater."  
  
"Good idea." Lith hit buttons on the computer. "Okay, done! Hey, I thought of a good name for this thing!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Lil Bugger."  
  
"Oh, great. Can we end now, before your dishes freeze and come clattering down on our heads in frozen pieces?"  
  
"They wouldn't do that."  
  
"Wanna bet?"  
  
"Taru, there is a 'destroy danger' option I have enabled at all times. In this case, it would probably make the dishes fly into the air so they wouldn't hurt Pluto, and then heat them so much they turned first into a liquid, then a gas. Anyway…we probably should finish up this section – what's that?"  
  
"Oh. That would be Elrond," Taru said, listening clinically to the frantic pounding on the door. "He's in there with Tas." 


End file.
